How Do I Cope With My Feelings When Someone I Love Is Hurting Me?

When someone you love is hurting you, it can be very painful, physically and emotionally. The following information is provided to help you understand some of your feelings about your situation, and about getting help.

Some of the most common thoughts expressed by older adults living with family violence are provided below.

"I feel so alone."

It is common to feel alone when you are a victim of violence. Unfortunately, many older people are experiencing abuse everyday. However, because it is a widespread problem, there are people and organizations in the community that will understand that you are not alone and can help you.

"No one will believe me if I tell them."

When bad things happen to people, it can help to talk about it. Sometimes when people talk about violence, it is hard for others to understand. Some people even refuse to believe it could happen. Fortunately, many older adults receive support from loved ones, friends, and neighbors. Church or synagogue members, doctors, or community agencies are good to talk to as well. There are people who will believe you and help you get help.

"How can I trust anyone again?"

Being hurt by someone, especially if it is someone you know and trust, can be painful and break your trust. Placing trust in others after being hurt is very difficult. Know that trusting someone does not entitle them to hurt you, and it is not your fault if they do. Always remember that there are people you can turn to for help.

(CARIE)

YOU deserve to be safe and free from harm.

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“Every person, no matter how young or how old, deserves to be safe from harm by those who live with them, care for them, or come in day-to-day contact with them.”

American Psychological Association

If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

Abuse is NEVER the victim’s fault.